The young Indian is usually stuck in the hypocritically infused,
community conscious, religious meltdown. To further explain, it only means the
kid is unsure what to do when it comes to making a decision as they are bound
by innumerable abstract blackmails – emotional, religious, threatening
consequences, monetary, vocal, muted, and irrational.
Starting at not wanting to eat a meal – “if you don’t eat it,
the old man will carry you off “. Now I wonder what it would have been if I had
said ok let him. The parents have learned and mastered the art of blackmails.
It comes to teacher who says “if you don’t submit your homework by tomorrow, I
will make sure you stand the whole day”. Out the fear of pain, we give in. What
if I had then told my teacher if you don’t make sure I understood what you
taught, I will ensure you stand for two days. Then it’s the guard at the school
gate who says “do not stand below the tree”, should I have told him - "ok
then I will sit". Wonder if he was retesting gravity under that tree. Or
was being a nicer human and warned against sanity – his place to answer nature’s
call every cold night. :O . The bully friend who said, “If you don’t give me 2
chocolates for your b’day, I will beat you up”. If only I had hit him and run
away. Considering the bully is usually fat and will not bother to run..but then
there is another corner all the time.
To the grown up life or so we think. To make choices to start
professional courses. How many kids have said this “OK, if you insist”. These
will be the ones who just want the sound of music from the parents off their
ears. Or the more naïve would have said “so I can score more and be like Sam
uncle” (btw, Sam uncle is the uncle in the family who is supposedly doing very
well in the Nigeria. Oh yes Nigeria…it does happen). Or many more who are just
told they have two choices, Engineering or Medical, later do we realize the
world of opportunities. Then it’s the induction at home for those going away to
hostels (and sometimes even if they don’t) about being good and ensuring its
only about name and fame of the family (that probably does not exist), about
promising not to even go close to non-vegetarian food, about not talking to
girls/boys (the girls/boys who will be friends, but girls/boys who one can call
sisters/brothers are totally ok). Then comes the threat from the chairman,
lecturer, the guard, the peon (the influential one who sits outside the
Principal’s chamber), the lady teacher’s husband, the girl’s brother and what
not. Even the eagle at times roaming the low skies during lunch with that
menacing 'I’ll get you' look. Not to mention the cycle stand guy and the
photocopy shopwala. It’s a tough life to graduate with all the clauses.
Then comes the wide world. All threats to make one an educated
kid, now in the world of professionals – the sound of music of another
induction starts. If its about going abroad for higher studies it’s the same
what happened when I started college but this time around there is more about
shunning the non-Indian single people, the ills of alcohol and smoking
(little do they realize the body is addicted already – in many
cases). With the promise of coming back and letting the parents select a better
half and few tears later, the kid sets sail. This is a similar situation if the
kid stays back, only though it might be more real time. Let’s say you come late
– then it goes like, where did you go? did you drink? (if yes is the answer it
could result in a cannon ball of tears of self pity, or a list of abuses and a
strong promise to end it.). The cajoling to eat, the screams if you don’t, the
annoyance if you come late, the spying, the comparisons, the list is long and
known.
The colors of parenting take a turn at marriage. If you have
been bold enough to think you let your mind make a choice and not your
‘mamma-papa’ then it’s about reliving all that was said above. Good bye peace
of mind, happiness, and what every state of mind you are in. Then comes
the question of giving back all the time, effort spent on care giving, love and
food and what not. What do we say “how much?” If its only about paying back to
get a better half whom you are happy with, its worth a try. Because most of the
time it’s accepted after a matter of time. I guess it’s a test of perseverance
of the kid or it’s a display of the real parent. The parent I never knew
existed. The parent who gave in after all the sounds of music – for my new
bike, my laptop, my mobile and my long trips. How I don’t understand the
calculation of life. Is it about the time spent + money spent + good food =
listen to me? This is mostly the case in family which are influenced heavily by
communities and their position in them. Then comes the religion, the demand for
their happiness (which is usually only got if the kid agrees to marry someone
of their choice), the questions on ethics, the social status, the mental health
of the kid (hehe). To end it, it’s a test of what one wants – do you want to be
happy? Or do you want them to be happy?
The sad part is the lost state of the kid. There is no religious
belief the kid goes by strongly, there is no reason to ignore the want of life.
There is only a reason to give into the sound of music, the blackmail of the
abstract. If it’s about living the experience of the experienced, then what is
life? Repayment? Finding a means to be happy in a journey that starts to end is
about annoying many.
The kid then grows to be another parent. No religion was every
conceived to create chaos for the living. It was only a means to enlighten or
follow a belief. Not an epitaph of life. Another kid is born. The cycle goes
on.
No comments:
Post a Comment