What is love? Professing my theories… I always believe (or I don’t know if I should say believed) it’s an amalgamation of a lot of emotions put together. It’s mainly about the ease of comfort and compatibility that springs out of friendship between two people. In the long run, it could include compassion, affection, yearning and all the host of other things. But then when is one in love? Is it something I can fit into my drafted notion? Is it just comfort and compatibility? Will a person be able to see the bleep or the halo on or in the head?
Going into one of these conversations on one rainy night… I heard different notions on the theory of love. One the many that intrigued me is the concept of love – which is realized only when you miss a person. Bogs me..What is missing a person? The feeling of getting into a habit and suddenly having to break it? The feeling of missing a cigarette? The feeling of missing a door that existed in the hallway for 5 years and you walked past it everyday…and one fine morning did not find it there? Then you miss the door? How can you miss a person? Is it like your parent that you saw every single day of your life and then came back one day to realize they are no more? Or is it simply missing that person who entertained you? Is it the idle mind that craves entertainment that we can call ‘missing’? It’s not ridiculing the interpretations of missing..but it is my attempt to understand this complex feeling. Like the Taj Mahal built as a tomb in the memory of a beloved wife. Is that an ostentatious exhibition of a personal feeling? Os just an immortal expression of love for a life?
Before the philosopher in me takes a shot at answering these questions…I take leave. I prefer to exclude myself from these complex emotions of life and get back into my shell of obscurity and contempt and take it as it comes. Cheers!!
PS: This piece has resemblance to many conversations living and dead. It is purely not coincidental if you thought you discussed it. ;)
Monday, September 28, 2009
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Great Expectations??
My take: Expectation is life. Expecting more...makes it greed. So can't I be human and expect.
I want to go out, I want to eat, I want to be, I want to be loved, I want to be happy.
This is not about illogically romanticising life. Its about wanting be happy. After undersanding the journey of life - with two fixed points - why don't I go ahead, with no strings attached and love life.
I wonder why I think too much, analyze and want. My expectation is not greed...I don't want more...but will i ever let go of my fear of refusal or sadness and move ahead and be able to ask for my want.
Starting with an understanding of expectation and ending with a surreal understanding of expectation, is what life is according to me. Being born is the purpose of life...and then the inverse proportionality of growing in life and losing the meaning of life. The growth definitely clutters the mind with unnecessary weeds that breed to swell the unwanted.
As confusing as it may sound... it is. I no not how to put the thoughts in any sound logical format. I no not what to do..So be it, life will go on.
I want to go out, I want to eat, I want to be, I want to be loved, I want to be happy.
This is not about illogically romanticising life. Its about wanting be happy. After undersanding the journey of life - with two fixed points - why don't I go ahead, with no strings attached and love life.
I wonder why I think too much, analyze and want. My expectation is not greed...I don't want more...but will i ever let go of my fear of refusal or sadness and move ahead and be able to ask for my want.
Starting with an understanding of expectation and ending with a surreal understanding of expectation, is what life is according to me. Being born is the purpose of life...and then the inverse proportionality of growing in life and losing the meaning of life. The growth definitely clutters the mind with unnecessary weeds that breed to swell the unwanted.
As confusing as it may sound... it is. I no not how to put the thoughts in any sound logical format. I no not what to do..So be it, life will go on.
Friday, August 21, 2009
I choose...
Choice. The option to choose exists at every step in life. Knowingly or unknowingly we do it. Be it deciding at a restaurant or selecting the body wash. The sometimes more less obvious, the words we use, the people we like and the stealthy glances.
This concept of our choosing was re-jigged at the life education forum I was a guest at. Somewhere in the dark corners of our mind rests the decisions made. Time only fades it from memory. It’s a matter of understanding how everything is a result of the choice we have made. The person who you don’t like is because of the choice you made to like the person. The person who doesn’t like you is also because of the choice you made in thinking you are liked. It was nice to remember the string of choices that have embellished and dented my path of life. It is my creation and no matter what the result is, I own it.
This vicious cycle of choice is a mind trap. A trap where we get entangled in thinking about the results of a situation. The mindboggling mind never cares a damn about its neighborhood…the heart resides close by and they soo need each other to survive. They only tend to ignore each other’s requests, very true in my case. Sometimes it’s the eye and ear that add to it. They have such conflict. The heart cannot strike a chord with the reasoning of the mind..and to add to it the eye might be totally in agreement but not the ear. So much of conflict in a skin-locked region of body parts. If we think, the mind is tired..we might want to think of how much the others are crying in unison about the neglect.
In this land of mortals, and in a body of conflicting parts…I choose to live in the world of imagination. Hail Calvin!
This concept of our choosing was re-jigged at the life education forum I was a guest at. Somewhere in the dark corners of our mind rests the decisions made. Time only fades it from memory. It’s a matter of understanding how everything is a result of the choice we have made. The person who you don’t like is because of the choice you made to like the person. The person who doesn’t like you is also because of the choice you made in thinking you are liked. It was nice to remember the string of choices that have embellished and dented my path of life. It is my creation and no matter what the result is, I own it.
This vicious cycle of choice is a mind trap. A trap where we get entangled in thinking about the results of a situation. The mindboggling mind never cares a damn about its neighborhood…the heart resides close by and they soo need each other to survive. They only tend to ignore each other’s requests, very true in my case. Sometimes it’s the eye and ear that add to it. They have such conflict. The heart cannot strike a chord with the reasoning of the mind..and to add to it the eye might be totally in agreement but not the ear. So much of conflict in a skin-locked region of body parts. If we think, the mind is tired..we might want to think of how much the others are crying in unison about the neglect.
In this land of mortals, and in a body of conflicting parts…I choose to live in the world of imagination. Hail Calvin!
Thursday, August 20, 2009
Learning Life...
Learning is an art. There are days when I come up with ample evidence and proof to strengthen my theories. The general human race can be divided broadly in two types of learners. One who learns with life where experiences are proof enough to learn. The other kind being the ones who need an authority to teach them or reinstill their experiences.
Some thoughts I need to ponder..
Belonging to the first kind of learners, I go by usually grasping things from learning, viewing, observing and listening to people I know or want to like.
Going through an forum for education about Life, I realized how egoistic and steadfast I am about life and its learning..in their words..the design of life..called a game. Especially, when someone I don’t know or cannot relate to or doesn’t impress in one way or the other is trying to. Am not being rude… but just mortal.
I also heard about my extremities in expectations. From not giving into or rather having any expectations to expecting too much. I wonder, why should I lead someone or give into liking someone when I don’t want to. Another extreme, which I did not realize, that I have expectations from people who mean something to me. I truly did not want to make it known. I have a task to do and adhere to making expectation nill or unknown.
Another interesting but very unconvincing thought the speaker wanted to instill was living life without a pretense..but the contradiction came when he said life was a game. A game where the opponent was a creation of our imagination. I thought this tied back to pretense. Guess I understand less or think too much.
Hmm so much so. I also understood how I loved many things in life. And they inturn give me the design to my life. In the hues of life, colors are nothing but the things we love in life and not the people who make up a chunk in this world.
Some thoughts I need to ponder..
Belonging to the first kind of learners, I go by usually grasping things from learning, viewing, observing and listening to people I know or want to like.
Going through an forum for education about Life, I realized how egoistic and steadfast I am about life and its learning..in their words..the design of life..called a game. Especially, when someone I don’t know or cannot relate to or doesn’t impress in one way or the other is trying to. Am not being rude… but just mortal.
I also heard about my extremities in expectations. From not giving into or rather having any expectations to expecting too much. I wonder, why should I lead someone or give into liking someone when I don’t want to. Another extreme, which I did not realize, that I have expectations from people who mean something to me. I truly did not want to make it known. I have a task to do and adhere to making expectation nill or unknown.
Another interesting but very unconvincing thought the speaker wanted to instill was living life without a pretense..but the contradiction came when he said life was a game. A game where the opponent was a creation of our imagination. I thought this tied back to pretense. Guess I understand less or think too much.
Hmm so much so. I also understood how I loved many things in life. And they inturn give me the design to my life. In the hues of life, colors are nothing but the things we love in life and not the people who make up a chunk in this world.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
My beautiful mind
Today is my day to feel blue and high, low and spirited, romantic and marvelous. The trees look greener, the streets look cleaner, the wind feels less gusty, the people seem friendlier, the air smells fresher, it’s the way I want to feel.
I wonder what it is, that on some days I feel the want to dwell in the happiness of creation. The question of the state of mind is always a griller. I wonder why?
Like an ode to Autumn.. Wordsworth and his magically charmed verses always linger in my days of blissful solitude. The fading melancholic thoughts are transported into the dark chambers of my delighted mind. The expressions of the soul fill the heart to reach out and stretch to the mugged mind. It’s the way I want to feel.
In sync with the real, I reel in the realm of unreal. When the hurdle is happiness, I wonder why. It’s the way I want to feel. The moment of truth is short lived. Long enough to anchor the protracted days of my lost mind. Cheers to life. High on life as always. Hic hic…
I wonder what it is, that on some days I feel the want to dwell in the happiness of creation. The question of the state of mind is always a griller. I wonder why?
Like an ode to Autumn.. Wordsworth and his magically charmed verses always linger in my days of blissful solitude. The fading melancholic thoughts are transported into the dark chambers of my delighted mind. The expressions of the soul fill the heart to reach out and stretch to the mugged mind. It’s the way I want to feel.
In sync with the real, I reel in the realm of unreal. When the hurdle is happiness, I wonder why. It’s the way I want to feel. The moment of truth is short lived. Long enough to anchor the protracted days of my lost mind. Cheers to life. High on life as always. Hic hic…
Wednesday, June 3, 2009
Mindboggling Mind
I wonder...waiting to see a recovered patient struggling to recover. . It's not a wrong statement...its right. The games the mind plays is tricky.
With reduced mobility due to the process of recovery, the immobile mind is only at work. The forced physical immobility mobilizes the rested mind and lets it take over other parts of the body. This is a forced situation...with no option while at recovery. This does not amaze me. What intrigues me is the mind of the perfectly (so called) sane medically certified homosapien.
Mind is a matter of choice for the sane. So, if you make a decision or choose to make one ...why regret? This incident in my life literally dried the small little ocean of trust I had in my belief about friends in life. I still truly believe that friends for me is only the 6 of them. They do exist...they make me happy and they make me sad. But they don't have weird, unrealistic, unreasonable and illogical minds. The 6 from the FRIENDS I watch on TV.
My life has been sans friends. I am a closed book and don't regret not being a friend to anyone. I am a loner and prefer to be it. Its my choice. A small thought made me wonder ... about my closed life. I progressed...and tried to be a friend. I paid a price for a reason of my friend's own choice. I was a listener and watched it unfold and happen....and my friend walked away. What did I do? Being my own apologetic self, I tried to think if I erred. Did I? I wonder? I only wanted a friend. As everyone says... a friend is one who you can talk to, fight with, scold, beat, go around with and then be betrayed by. My sane mind has reasoned the unreasonable friend and refuses to believe in anything like friends in real life. I believe people are just acquaintances in life...the ones on this land that we meet when we walk the road of life.
The illusion of the friend I had is just a hallucination of my mind. I progressed... so I think. I will not regret not making an effort to make a friend. I made and failed. So be it, friends forever...is a wonderfully embellished phrase for an acquaintance.
Long live the friend. The friend is dead.
With reduced mobility due to the process of recovery, the immobile mind is only at work. The forced physical immobility mobilizes the rested mind and lets it take over other parts of the body. This is a forced situation...with no option while at recovery. This does not amaze me. What intrigues me is the mind of the perfectly (so called) sane medically certified homosapien.
Mind is a matter of choice for the sane. So, if you make a decision or choose to make one ...why regret? This incident in my life literally dried the small little ocean of trust I had in my belief about friends in life. I still truly believe that friends for me is only the 6 of them. They do exist...they make me happy and they make me sad. But they don't have weird, unrealistic, unreasonable and illogical minds. The 6 from the FRIENDS I watch on TV.
My life has been sans friends. I am a closed book and don't regret not being a friend to anyone. I am a loner and prefer to be it. Its my choice. A small thought made me wonder ... about my closed life. I progressed...and tried to be a friend. I paid a price for a reason of my friend's own choice. I was a listener and watched it unfold and happen....and my friend walked away. What did I do? Being my own apologetic self, I tried to think if I erred. Did I? I wonder? I only wanted a friend. As everyone says... a friend is one who you can talk to, fight with, scold, beat, go around with and then be betrayed by. My sane mind has reasoned the unreasonable friend and refuses to believe in anything like friends in real life. I believe people are just acquaintances in life...the ones on this land that we meet when we walk the road of life.
The illusion of the friend I had is just a hallucination of my mind. I progressed... so I think. I will not regret not making an effort to make a friend. I made and failed. So be it, friends forever...is a wonderfully embellished phrase for an acquaintance.
Long live the friend. The friend is dead.
Friday, May 1, 2009
Where to go??
The spray of twilight, the colors of the setting sun.
The homing birds, the blowing wafts.
I know not where to go.
The untouched dew, the clear morning air.
The new chaos of the day, the flitting engines.
The whiff of freshness, the hurried monotony of routine.
I know not where to go.
The walk of life, the stealth of silence,
The tranquility of the unseen,
I know now where to go
The homing birds, the blowing wafts.
I know not where to go.
The untouched dew, the clear morning air.
The new chaos of the day, the flitting engines.
The whiff of freshness, the hurried monotony of routine.
I know not where to go.
The walk of life, the stealth of silence,
The tranquility of the unseen,
I know now where to go
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